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Icarus Blake's Journal

Saturday, October 24, 2009

7:39PM - To the tune of Good Day to Die by Travis

You live with your mother
And your stepfather
Two little children
Two room apartment
The ass of the white world
Way up in a high rise
What would you give to fly away, away away

The girls have no power
And boys have no manners
You’re gawked at by tourists
Armed with Lonely Planets

You know the exit
You need to own your own home
Regain all the space they took away away away….

Smoke a fag in the stairwell
Tell your gopnik friends farewell
Dream of telling your bedroom goodbye
Wait for grandma to die

Friday, September 18, 2009


For people who categorically deny that there is any difference between the races, it must seem uncanny that people from the same country can act and behave so uniformly. For example, I've NEVER met a Russian woman that likes Indian food. HOWEVER, very many of them like sushi, and they think that this is an odd thing, as if it said something unique and dignified about their personalities. When I lived in Moscow, I'd often go to an Indian restaurant for lunch and it would be all but empty. I remember falling asleep in a couch in the restaurant alone on every work day for about half of a year when I worked at Rencap. There'd be a dozen or two dozen sushi places within 15 minutes of the place that would all be full. I felt sorry for the administration. Originally the business lunch included tea, but after a while they wanted to charge extra - charge a lot, in fact, for a drink. I'd say I didn't want a drink, and they'd look pleadingly at me, because I was paying 190 rubles - about 9 bucks at the time - for a well-proportioned meal. From my standpoint, Indian food is rather easy to make and should cost less than seven dollars. It's the kind of food that you buy out of the back of a truck on the University of Pittsburgh campus. An 'expensive' Indian restaurant where some well-dressed guy brings you your plate of Tikka Masala, which is the kind of food that you'd expect to eat out of a Styrofoam container from your couch while watching television. It is a bit like a guy in a tux bringing tacos. Even the Mexicans - well, especially the Mexicans - don't eat their food that way. In Mexico they have proper upscale restaurants, and from what I've heard, they don't ever serve tacos.
This brings to mind another point. In America, with respect to food at least, one is used to always getting what he or she wants. In that respect, it's like a paradise. No matter what I crave, only my diet keeps me from eating exactly what I want, which is why Harold and Kumar go to White Castle is such a profound movie. You see, not only do Harold and Kumar want hamburgers, but they want White Castle hamburgers (tiny ones called sliders). In real life, they'd have just had to have gone to Journal Square in Jersey City from Hoboken to get White Castle. It's a hike, but I've walked it. They could have gotten there inside of 15 minutes instead of driving across the state. On the other hand, it is exceedingly expensive to get prostitutes in the United States, so you can eat exactly what you want for months without getting laid. Add in that nobody walks anywhere, and you'll understand why 25% of the American population is technically obese and many more are simply overweight. At 182cm, I have to be over 84 to be overweight, and I'm always battling to be between 79 and 82 (about 176 and 182 lb.).

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

12:16AM - I hope some higher form of life isn't busy writing such drivel about us

'Whereas nature appears to us live, vibrant, and enthusiastic in producing monkeys; so is she slow, constrained and restricted in sloths. And we must speak more of wretchedness than laziness – more of default, deprivation, and defect in their constitution: no incisor or canine teeth, small and covered eyes, a thick and heavy jaw, flattened hair that looks like dry grass … legs too short, badly turned, and badly terminated … no separately movable digits, but two or three excessively long nails. … Slowness, stupidity, neglect of its own body, and even habitual sadness, result from this bizarre and neglected conformation. No weapons for attack or defense; no means of security; no resource for safety in escape; confined, not to a country, but to a tiny mote of earth – the tree under which it was born; a prisoner in the middle of great space … everything about them announces their misery; they are imperfect productions made by nature, which, scarcely having the ability to exist at all, can only persist for a while, and shall then be effaced from the list of beings … These sloths are the lowest term of existence in the order of animals with flesh and blood; one more defect would have made their existence impossible.

(de Buffon, G-L. L.: ‘Histoire Naturelle’ (translated by: Stephen Jay Gould) in: 1749'

Thursday, July 30, 2009


Jesus told this parable in the Apocrypha:

Once there was an old sailor who had spent some years at sea and managed to save a small fortune. He took the money and had a boat constructed of the finest wood. Its sail was embroidered in purple and the benches in its galley were made of cedar. Merchants would approach the boat - many each day, and offer the captain money to ship goods. The captain would laugh at their minor offers - he was waiting for one that would pay to ship products to Rome on a long-term basis. An offer would go as such - one would ask the captain if he could ship olive oil to Alexandria for a fair price, and the captain would turn up his nose and say "ha - this ship only goes to Rome". Indeed it did go to Rome, but only several times. Mostly it just sat at the docks. After several years it was not such a fine ship; indeed there were younger, faster ships that were ready to go anywhere. Unfortunately the captain had run out of money and couldn't afford to pay the Marina. At this point, he would have taken any cargo, but the merchants remembered his attitude. Eventually his ship left the port to be stationed at a simple dock the owner could afford. Late one night, a pirate and his men snuck aboard the boat and absconded with it. To their chagrin, however, they found that it was leaky and so they plugged it. Eventually, they swindled some Arabs into buying their boat.

Now Jesus said to the young women in the crowd, "you are like the boat: she who does not allow her young vessel to be filled with seamen might very well one day find it plugged by a pirate."

Monday, July 20, 2009

2:12PM - Fairness

People talk about fairness as if it's a good thing. Is it? While much of the world lived off subsistance farming (more than half) and lacked basics like electricity, clean water, sanitation, and nutrition, Akron enjoyed a generation of prosperity. The period lasted from the end of the Second World War through about 1990, when the last tire factory closed. Given the high salaries of workers (there were more car owners per capita in Akron for a while than any other part of the US), one could see the tire industry's collapse as 'only fair'. The chief beneficiaries were probably tire plants in places like Indonesia, where most people live on between $1-2/day, placing them in the 25-49th percentile of the world's population. Undoubtedly, the lives of many Indonesians improved with the introduction of that industry.

All this represents a progress towards fairness. Do you get the impression that fairness isn't necessarily a good thing? Indonesians are rather ugly people. Aside from much of Bali and several small communities in Sumatra, Indonesia is a Muslim country, with more Muslims than any other country in the world. Personally I'd rather see the place struck by a plague and decimated than witness the death of Akron and its decidedly unfair pay scales. I consider this natural and normal. Most of the people I'm writing to, just by virtue of being able to read it, are doing better than most of the global population - often through no virtue of their own. This is a lack of parity that should be preserved, and institutionalized - through trade barriers.

Saturday, July 18, 2009


Contempt of court is a fraud. In the UK, a court is presided over by a man in a wig, and one is prosecuted by a man in a wig. Together, they have the power to throw you into a contained environment where forced sodomy is common. When you enter the court, you're forced to swear something on the Bible, presumably to add the sting of sacrilege to the gay orgy that is proceeding. Of course I'd be contemptuous!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

11:09AM - This struck me as funny.

From the wikipedia entry on 'zepplin'.

Zeppelins were used as bombers during World War I, without notable success. At the beginning of the conflict the German command had high hopes for the craft, as they appeared to have compelling advantages over contemporary aircraft — they were almost as fast, carried many more guns, and had a greater bomb load capacity and enormously greater range and endurance. However, their great weakness was their vulnerability to gunfire.

...hmmm you'd think they'd taken into account that a blimp might be particularly easy to shoot...

Friday, January 23, 2009


Anyone remember that R&B song that Sting did called 'The Rise and Fall'?


Monday, January 12, 2009

10:09AM - Quote from the vkontakte group [American Community In Russia]


I think I'll feel myself a broad and come into the group....

....So who is this broad, anyway?

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


Have you ever used the word 'butcher' as a verb?

Saturday, November 8, 2008

10:49PM - fountain of youth

Here's the kind of "I want to be 14 but I'm 28" picture that girls post on dating sites:

Sunday, October 12, 2008


Wow - Haider died in a car accident. He was one of the two best-looking European champions of anti-American values (he was an Austrian politician that got in trouble for saying something like - to paraphrase Mel Brooks - 'the Nazis ain't so bad').

However, the reigning opponent of all things 'Western' (think rodeo, omlettes) is Andrei Lugovoi. Would you like cream and sugar with that, or just the Polonium?

I hope I look that good when I'm older. I'm sure that both of these guys could get a lot of hey-hey on the side. I'm sure either would have given Pim Fortyn a chubby.

Thursday, October 9, 2008


If I'm ever rich enough to buy a flat in Moscow, I'm going to get a Dalek:


I will even take the time and effort to videotape the joy of getting it through customs.

2:11AM - to the tune of 'winter wonderland'

There's only one Kazzy Kazzy
She's off to JAIL to see her daddy
She's only 16 and she's living in sin
watch her face as Brian puts it in.

In the daytime she works at the grocer's
but in the evening she's a little whore
all you have to do is dial a number...
and mister pimp will bring her to your door!

Thursday, September 4, 2008


I have a fairly unique outlook on the Georgian conflict, because I think that people from the Caucasus should be ethnically cleansed, perhaps with the exception of the Ossetians and the Armenians. Abkhazia used to have a huge Georgian minority but they were driven out by a coalition of hill-monkeys lead by Shamil Basaev in 1992. The same sort of people that wanted Abkhazia independent wanted basically all of the Caucasus independent.

The strangest bit of this is that Abkhazia remains a popular tourist destination among Russians. It's cheaper to go there and stay than Sochi to the north. My ex-girlfriend Marina has pictures of her holiday there in 2003, when she went with her mother. You can get wine here that says 'made in Abkhazia'.


Here are some accounts of what the Abkhazians did to Georgians during their initial struggle for independence:

Sukhumi massacre:

Placing their hopes on the ceasefire, a large number of civilians remained in the city. The separatists and their allies started to sweep through the streets of Sukhumi rounding up all civilians that they found. Men, women and children were executed in the streets, on the roads inside their own apartments, houses and back yards. According to the witnesses many people became objects of torture, children were killed in front of their parents, parents – in front of their children. (Wikipedia)

When Abkhaz entered my house, they took me and my seven year old son outside. After forcing us to kneel, they took my son and shot him right in front of me. After they grabbed me by hair and took me to the nearby well. An Abkhaz soldier forced me to look down that well; there I saw three younger man and couple of elderly woman who were standing soaking in water naked. They were screaming and crying while Abkhaz were dumping dead corpses on them. After that, they threw a grenade there and placed more people inside. I was forced again to kneel in front of the dead corpses. One of the soldiers took his knife and took the eye out from one of the dead near me. Then he started to rub my lips and face with that decapitated eye. I could not take it any longer and fainted. They left me there in a pile of corpses.

- Chervonnaia, Svetlana Mikhailovna. Conflict in the Caucasus: Georgia, Abkhazia, and the Russian Shadow. p 87, Fall of Gagra.

Gagra massacre:

As it became apparent that Georgian forces would not hold Gagra, thousands of Georgian civilians fled to the villages of Gantiadi and Leselidze, immediately north of the town. Within the days that followed, the villages too fell compounded by the flight of refugees to the Russian border. The Russian border guards allowed part of Georgian civilians and military personnel to cross the border, and then transported them to Georgia proper.... Those Georgians who remained in Gagra and the surrounding villages were subjected to a violent reprisal campaign orchestrated by Basayev and Abkhaz militants... According to several accounts, one hundred Georgians were herded into the central stadium in Gagra where they were decapitated and their heads used as footballs in a soccer match. - Wikipedia

My husband Sergo was dragged and tightened to the tree. An abkhaz woman named Zoya Tsvizba brought a tray with lots of salt on it. She took the knife and started to inflict wounds on my husband. Afterwards, she threw handful of salt onto my husbands exposed wounds. They tortured him like that for ten minutes. Afterwards, they forced a young Georgian boy (they killed him after) to dig a whole with the tractor. They placed my husband in this whole and buried him alive. The only thing I remember him saying before he was covered with the gravel and sand was: “Dali take care of the kids!

Chervonnaia, Svetlana Mikhailovna. Conflict in the Caucasus: Georgia, Abkhazia, and the Russian Shadow. Gothic Image Publications, 1994

The Georgian elite might be considered Bush cronies (Bush'es backers want to scare the 'near abroad' into buying military bases, the State Dept. wants the countries in NATO). However, many of them are also... libertarians!! The leading securities firm in the country is called Galt & Taggart Securities.

Friday, May 30, 2008

10:40AM - Writer's Block: Pirates vs Ninjas

Ninjas. Pirates don't do much on land other than drink and go whoremongering. A ninja uses all of his senses, whereas a pirate is often missing a hand, an eye, and a leg. Pirates are also quite noisy. Of course, this is all assuming that we mean pirates a la 'Pirates of the Caribbean' and not actual modern sea pirates that attack ships and yachts in the Phillipines and Indonesia. Those guys have kalashnikov rifles - I really wouldn't want to mess with them, even if I was a ninja.

Thursday, March 6, 2008



This is absolutely horrible. It shows what happens when a formerly Slavic area becomes infested.

Friday, December 7, 2007


Grandpa got ran over by a Lada
Coming from the whorehouse Christmas Eve
People say there's no such thing as Santa
but the girls at Charmel still believe

We didn't know his destination
When grandpa went out into the snow
But several made the observation
That as he'd left, he'd mumbled 'ho ho ho.'

We'd deride his girls as sleases
Good old grandpa had a few
but when we'd warn him of diseases
he'd boast of ones he'd fought in World War Two

It's not Christmas without grandpa
It's just driving us insane
and his little blue Viagra
would have matched the blood in grandpa's veins

Now you can sit and be judgemental
and tell me grandpa was quite a rat
but he was not nearly as evil
as my cousin who moved into grandpa's flat

Thursday, November 29, 2007

11:12AM - Child supote vs. hooking to feed baby

If you know anything about animals, you're already aware of the fact that most of them only breed in certain seasons. Humans, on the other hand, can have sex 24/7, 365 days of the year. Why is this? According to pop ethno-biologist Jared Diamond, it is because women need to be able to have sex to insure that males are around to take care of their young. This is a-typical in other primates: in chimpanzees, for example, a male will kill the offspring of a female he has never copulated with in order to drive her into heat (making chimps rather promiscuous). So what does this tell us about the role of sex in human relationships?

Historically, females have provided males with sex as incentive to stick around and raise children. We can infer that pre-historically, it was never the male's intention to help out with the kids, but that this help was exchanged for sex. This doesn't jibe well with the 'modern' concepts of alimony and child support. Instead, it suggests that single mothers, whether divorced or simply dirty, should prostitute themselves in exchange for the money needed to raise their children. This is already the case in Costa Rica, and one can only hope that it will catch on. A determinist would say that it is ordained to - countries with the most stringent child support laws tend to have the fewest children.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007


Today 10,000 communists will march down Tverskaya (about 200m away from my office) to commemorate the 90th anniversary of the October Revolution, where dirty, rotten commies overthrew the democratically-elected Russian provisional government.  I wish that ticker-tape still existed, because it would be great to indulge in the ironic pleasure of throwing ticker-tape at a communist parade.  I'm sure the very idea of ticker-tape is blasphemous to unrepentant communists. 

Unless, of course, you're Chinese.

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